I feel I haven't worked hard at anything really. I have goals but i seem to never accomplish them. and i really don't know why. it's so frustrating and i don't understand why i don't seem to want to do it. I have nothing else right now so i know i can accomplish so much but i keep doubting myself. and i keep telling myself oh next week you can try or the week after or you have the rest of the year. maybe I'm just looking for the easy way out and waiting for something good to happen when i know it's not going to. you can't have things you don't work for. that would be selfish. i don't want to be that type of person. I want to be proud of myself. i want to do so much but i don't know where to start. maybe I'm so down on myself that lately i just haven't had the motivation too. and that sucks because i know I'm the only person who can get me that far. I'm so disappointed in myself. i know i can do better than i am and i know i can do anything i want so why haven't I? and i know I'm the only one to blame. it's my fault i haven't gone far. I think if i really want something I'll do whatever it takes to get it. I know i just need to start realizing it.
